Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Who's your celebrity crush?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I've never read the book. What did Dorian Grey do that was so immoral and sinful?

I can read

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Could humans be selectively bred, like dogs, to create 2 subspecies that can no longer have offspring? Do I not understand selective breeding properly? Im not worried about the moral implications, just the science please.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Do you think President-Elect Donald Trump won the presidency fair and square, or do you think the GOP resorted to blatant unlawful practices to tilt the election?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why should the US public listen to Lauren Boebert, the queen of hypocrisy tell us, "We need morals back in our nation" when her real-time video is the heartbeat of immoral? Why does her audio not match her video?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fakery

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

If someone works for me, I actually pay them